Talk about the importance and value of establishing a routine, even as a small child. Focus on helping kids understand why the routine matters and how things like teamwork and kindness are REALLY important.

For example: "If I'm having to tell you what to do every step of the way and then needing to nag or yell at you because things are not done is neither kind nor teamwork. What could be some ways we could work better together to have some routine and make our mornings more fun? What jobs can you do and what jobs do you need help with? These are what I'll do" Listen to their ideas and/or make suggestions to split the load.

Get rid of judgement, expectations or assumptions. You may think your child 'should' be able to do things when they start out at school, or perhaps you think they 'can't or don't know how'. Start fresh and sets standards around what's important for you all as a family rather than set expectations to live up to.

Sometimes we have to take a step back from what we think they should/have to be able to do and get curious. If you keep doing things for them or reminding them every step of the way, they won't learn how to think for themselves or set up responsible habits and routine. Do you still want to be doing that when they are 12, 16, 22?

What are you OK with and what are you NOT ok with? Where is the line in the sand?Boundaries correlate specifically to your values (what's important) so you need to be clear on what those boundaries are).

For example: Safety and kindness are two of our highest values as a family, so I will be very firm if my kids are being unsafe (hurting each other) or being unkind (hurting each other more)? - Or unkind - being lazy and not cleaning up their room, making a bed, certain tasks that matter in our household. Remember these are your boundaries and are reflective of what matters for you and your happy harmonious household.

There is no 'right' or 'wrong' morning routine! Be committed and consistent. If you give up, your child will too. Rather than nag and control what they're supposed to be doing... encourage them to create their own routine order for getting things done.

Each time you ask them to do something, it's reducing their need to think, be responsible themselves, their own initiative may be impacted, their ability to organise their own time and order of tasks/jobs? Do check in... see how they're tracking, however NO telling them what to do every step of the way.

No more nagging. It takes practice to stop doing it and yes, you're human, so you'll catch yourself every now and then still asking those same old questions. Here are our favourite questions to ask. Empowering questions that encourage your child to be in charge of their own routine and order of jobs.

How's your routine tracking?
Where are you up to in your routine?
Looks like you are getting through your routine. Do you need a hand with anything?
Need a hand with your routine?

Remove 'Don't, Just, Try and But' from your vocab.
Don't - is actually 'telling' the unconscious mind to 'do'. For example; 'Don't forget your sunscreen..!' - the mind will hear 'Do forget your sunscreen' - use words like remember, keep, focus.
Just - minimises - think about when you use it.... "can you just put your shoes on" - there is no just to it. Just as a word adds no value to the sentence.
Try - in the words of Yoda, do or do not, there is no try. Encourage kids to do things, rather than 'try' things. Like tying up shoe laces - use 'have a go at tying up your laces'.
But - negates everything you have said prior to using the word!

We're a reflection of our children, as they are a reflection of us. If we're stressed out, disorganised, distracted, running late, multi-tasking - chances are they we'll be feeling the impact. Stop, slow down, breath, remember less is more. Bring it back to the basics. Keep it really simple.

Take a look at your own routine. It's easy to fall into the trap of trying to do everything, that extra load of washing, checking your emails, then before you know it, the morning is getting away from you. Yell a few instructions, they're off in their 'fairyland; distracted, playing... have your own good, effective routine and then encourage them to start learning how to do the same. In the early years, you will need to help them along with creating their 'ideal' routine and it does not need to match, how you would do it. Let them figure it out with help not commands.

Make time and really listen. Put down the phone, be at eye level, walk side by side, chat in the car, go into the same room rather than yell between rooms. Really listen to what is going on for them. Not only the obvious "spoken" words, what is not being said. What is really going on for them behind the scenes.

For this you may want to explore and learn more about human behaviour. Understand what beliefs, attitudes, values and metaprograms (their innate personality) will trigger certain emotional responses and behaviours, whether conscious or unconscious. The more you get to know and learn about this, the better chance you have of communicating in many different ways with your amazing and fascinating child/ren.

Life's too short to not have fun. And school goes for a very very long time. Years and years in fact. Make sure you're building in and making time for the fun stuff. For us that is morning snuggles, tickles, laughter, play activities or getting dressed with our favourite songs blasting. It's for making the mundane, make us laugh instead, racing to see who is quickest to get dressed, who can pack up and clean up the quickest or who can create funny sandwich decorations or pack their own lunchbox.

Whatever works in your household to help you get the 'Happy' chemicals flowing like dopamine, seratonin, oxytocin and endorphins. Truly great benefits come from helping kids achieve little milestones in their morning, laughing out loud, helping kids feel valued and important, giving and receiving hugs etc.  Mornings are not for crying over spilled milk. Have perspective and remember not to sweat the small stuff.